Posts tagged papanicolau test
Respecting the Rules of the Papanicolau Test

This memory just popped up in my head while Tim and I were taking a moment to tidy up the house:

We're in the hospital at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base in Ohio and we're sitting in the room waiting for my new obstetrician to walk through the exam room door. (We'd just moved to Ohio from Florida for Tim's surgical residency program). Tim's looking all hot in his military fatigues outfit. I, in stark contrast, am four months pregnant and all frumpy in a paper towel. 

I'm all nervous because in the military, though you get the benefit of free health care, it does come with a price--you don't get to choose your doctor. In fact, you don't even get to see the same doctor from one month to the next. Which means that at your delivery, you could be faced with a doctor who has never seen you or your bump ever before. [side: I have learned more recently that if you choose not to go with TriCare Prime, then you can choose your own--even off-base--doctor, if you are willing to pay a co-pay. Can I get a WHUT!]

So there we are. Waiting.

And then she walks in. Dr. Watson. Dr. Alicia Watson. GAWD! I KNEW THAT NAME SOUNDED FAMILIAR! I was, at one time in my life, best friends with her older sister and she was best friends with my little sister. What a small world, indeed.

So she does her thing and I do my thing and things are going well... we chat about our childhood and what we're up to nowadays. Tim joins in on this lighthearted, small talky conversation. Then, it comes to our attention that I need to re-do the pap smear that I had done at my previous hospital in Miami.

Alicia and I agree that we'd schedule it for the next visit (as it was understood that, due to the nature of the free health care system in the military, she would more than likely, NOT be my doctor--something both of us, or at least I was relieved of, for sure). When--get this-- Tim, THE MAN, the fresh-out-of-medical-school, rookie doctor says, "Oh! You should just go ahead and do it now... get it over with... don't put it off until later. No big deal."


I'm sorry sweetie, but

1) A pap smear is not an impulse buy. They are planned purchases. It is against all things right and quite simply a bad investment for anyone to have them sitting at the register in shiny, red, crinkly wrapping paper, screaming 'Buy me! Buy me!' because, quite frankly, NO ONE WOULD BUY THEM! Instead, they can be found in aisle 12, next to the tooth brushes. Because you PLAN for those.

2) A pap smear should never EVER be performed in the presence of your husband. That's just weird.

and most importantly,

3) A PAP SMEAR SHOULD NEVER BE PERFORMED BY YOUR FORMER BEST FRIEND'S LITTLE SISTER!